I want to sell the script of a Hollywood studio. The story is about a guy who owns a farm that is constantly running at a loss but never closes.
The farm is massive and underused, and the protagonist has every opportunity in the world to improve their products and get a great harvest.
He has access to loans, equipment, free irrigation and gifts from neighboring farmers, but all he does with these things is drink and smoke them while his family suffers.
Nigeria has refused to grow up and achieve anything, but feels as if it is living off the achievements of its alienated children around the world
In addition to drinking, smoking and useless in general, his other pastime is to pump out children at an industrial pace. Needless to say, he does not care at all about his children, and many of them do not experience childhood.
Survivors should leave the farm and hire themselves to neighboring farmers, acquiring some survival skills from home.
Over time, some of them rise in the ranks and become senior managers, directors and even shareholders in these other farms, and their father continues to mismanage his farm.
When the good news about some of these successful children comes home, their father is filled with pride and joy, but when they get on the wrong side of life, he behaves as if he never knew them.
Successful people make an effort to renovate the home of their childhood by sending back money and volunteering their skills and time, but all this guy ever wants to do is be a 62-year-old idiot who doesn’t perform successes spent on life thanks to charity and good luck.
The “famzing” success of the diaspora is dishonest
I’m sure by the end of the second paragraph you’ve figured out whose story I was telling. The 62-year history of Nigeria after the declaration of independence, which the Hollywood studio would undoubtedly reject for being too sad without ransom, is the story of our fictional antihero.
Nigeria has refused to grow up and achieve anything, but for some reason feels that it is living off the achievements of its alienated children around the world.
Remember how everyone, from corporate brands to Abike Dabira, made a great song and dance in support of Anthony Joshua, a “Nigerian” whose only chance to become someone in his life came when his parents emigrated from Nigeria?
Remember how it turned out when he somehow lost to that chubby Mexican whose name I don’t remember? Remember when the Super Falcons won the AFCON women’s title and received a congratulatory tweet from the president, just so they had to protest before they were paid for camp maintenance?
That’s what we do in Nigeria. We try to live by the achievements of people who have achieved great things on their own, simply because these people are accidentally called “Ifeoma”, “Efe” and “Ayotunde”.
Even if Nigeria had absolutely nothing to do with the said success or actually happened despite Nigeria as with Divine Oduduru, we bask in the reflected glory of their personal achievements.
Sometimes when these people carry the Nigerian flag or post something about Wizkid or Jolaf Rice on Instagram, we go crazy with the smiles of the Nigerian flag because, my God, they identify themselves!
It’s not about being Killjoy
One way or another Nigeria’s complete failure and our complicity in its failure is more bearable when we point to Nigerian immigrants doing great things in life and saying, “I knew Femi before he started calling himself Anthony.
His father and I were classmates in Aietoro. ” It’s unclear exactly how this helps our situation, but hey, it’s also unclear how much alcohol consumption helps.
Escapism is a key part of our culture, and anyone who disagrees should be a vegetarian heretic who does not eat geolof, and perhaps also an atheist.
Now that all this is painfully disgusting in my eyes, some also point out that Nigeria is not the only country that is strangely fascinated by the diaspora.
Even “first world” countries such as Ireland continue to have deep emotional and economic ties with their diaspora, and in any case Nigerians are proud to support Anthony Joshua or Janice Ante of the NBA … They are not harming anyone. Why be so deadly, David?
The reason why this is important can be found in a quote dubiously attributed to Russian President Vladimir Putin, where he describes Africa as a place where its diaspora does not invest, but returns only to die and be buried with their ancestors.
Although there is no concrete evidence that Mr Putin has ever made such a comment, the truth is painfully sharp.
For the success of the diaspora to be significant for Nigeria, it must be correlated with the results on the ground in Nigeria. The example of Somalia shows that having a well-educated, successful diaspora around the world and being an absolute basket is possible at the same time.
I think we are not trying to be Somalia.