Despite being a major and dangerous secret, the crew fixes a plan to save the club. The directory contains the second largest collection of dead souls in the United States. The biggest owner is some rich computer guy, but that’s not the worst part. Nadia may not be alive, but she is still superstitious. She spits when she learns that the Guide has been studying ancient, forbidden texts on witchcraft, but is happy to know that famous dead people can be brought back to life for short periods of time to increase attendance. Who wouldn’t want to ask Murasaki Shikibu (Yui Ugai), maid of honor at Japan’s ancient imperial court and inventor of the novel form, where she got her ideas from?
Among the reanimated celebrities are Leonardo da Vinci (Felipe Aucai), Scott Joplin (Sam Assante), Che Guevara (Victor Ayala), and after a little work, the plan seems really doable. But as Laszlo says, the humans or vampires are making plans, and the “guy upstairs” has other ideas. Vampires’ relationship with god is made for inspired entertainment from the moment the offensive word is struck from You are here [CENSORED]It’s me, Margaret, and ends with one particularly classic comedy scene. But it’s not as spiritually offensive as Mahatma Gandhi (Murli Nedungadi) reading a steak ad.
Like most great ideas that come from Staten Island vampires, the project falls apart due to missed opportunities and misunderstandings. For all the straight talk and shameless honesty that comes from vampires, they are too self-absorbed to give or receive messages from anyone but themselves.
The creature that crawled out of Colin Robinson’s (Mark Procksh) abdomen had a major growth spurt at the end “Freddie” and now breaks hearts like the teenage nightmare he has become. Former Baby Colin is entering an “awkward age,” as Laszlo puts it. This is a conventional term for a character who is known for his clumsiness. Colin is now sullen, withdrawn, uncommunicative and needy. In every way, a teenager who drains the energy from his most parental figures: Laszlo and Guillermo (Harvey Guillen), both unable to break through the thick skull of the teenage spirit. Baseball bats don’t seem to work. They should try the hammer.
Nandor’s (Kaivan Novak) attempt to talk to the youth, or “gutter talk,” was a disaster before it even began. “I started riding to cool tunes like that, too,” he enthuses as Colin pounds the wall to the pounding heavy metal beats. In truth, “cool” is a cyclical concept, and things the 759-year-old warlord might have considered edgy in his youth may have become fashionable again, but we know Colin ranks Nandar long before the inexorable one pulls the rank .
Nandor’s talk about the young soldiers is less moving. If it caused young men to die on the front lines of the battlefields in his day, they probably had nothing to come back to at home. His advice means total commitment Father knows best wisdom, and Colin responds like a modern-day Eddie Haskell Leave it to Beaver. How cool is it to respect elders, to show some self-respect? About as cool as deciding to spend the next 15-20 years reading books.